Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Fuck Nigeria, Part II

Here's part 1.

H.D & ASSOCIATES CHAMBERS
PLOT 12 ABIODU CRESENT
IKOYI, LAGOS - NIGERIA.
TEL NO: 234-1-4772840
DATE: 26/06/2006
Attn: [my real name, he got it off my reply] ,

How are you today? I thank you for your utmost response especially, your mutual understanding and interest in assisting me to accommodate my business interest.
Firstly, I want to re-assure you that this transaction is purely legitimate and have no risk attached. Therefore, we must have to execute this transaction under a legitimate manner to avoid any breach of the law. As a matter of fact, I contacted you based on the fact that you share the same surname with my late client which is a great advantage for us to make this transaction very successful. All I want from you is your honest cooperation and mutual understanding to enable us make this transaction successful for our best interest and mutual benefit.

Note that with my position as the deceased attorney, I have every proves to influence all procedure to our favour to enable you receive the fund as a true legitimate Next of Kin to the deceased. If you are very pleased to execute this transaction with me in all sincerity, then you have to send me immediately your full Name, Address and Job Status to enable me secure the necessary Legal Clearance Documents on your name to back up this claim to your favour in other to authenticate you as the legitimate Next of Kin to the deceased such as:
The documents are as follows:

(1) The Certificate of Inheritance
(2) The Legal Clearance Certificate
(3) The certificate of Administration
(4) An Affidavit of Claim.

These are the Legal Clearance Documents the bank will need before you will be ascertained as the true Next of Kin to the deceased to administer over his fund left behind with the bank. The above clearance Documents must have to be made through the probate section of the High Court of Justice, Lagos-Judiciary.

Therefore, if you find it very conducive to work out this transaction with me as I explained, kindly get back to me urgently. I already have the copy of the “Death Certificate” of the deceased which I will make available to you for your record purposes as soon as you repose your full interest to assist.

You can always reach me on my Private telephone number: 234-1-4772840 for more directives.

Thanks for your understanding.

Best regards,

Barr. Harry Douglas.


I replied:

Harry, Harry, Harry!

When last we spoke, I told you that I insisted upon
giving you all my personal information. All of these
messages are just cluttering up the process. You're
wasting my time. I just need to give you all my
personal information ASAP.

Of course, when last we spoke, I told you I need the
head of a Nigerian boy to show up in a box on my front
doorstep and that you'd have to guess which is my
address. You guessing which address is mine (and you
have to send the box first - that is the only form of
guess I'll accept) is the way you prove to me you're
acting in good faith.

Please send the head.

Yours in severy,
Fiona.

PS - I will also accept the head of a Nigerian girl,
if that makes things simpler for you.

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